1. |
|
|||
|
i used to think being in love meant satisfying all conditions
checking boxes, checking temps, putting your back into it
i was never caught by surprise, spent so much time catastrophizing
waiting for the spiral
i stretched myself so thin, tho you couldn't see thru me
i was careful not to let my guard down, to get to close
cause if i did then that would mean someone might try and control me
like a candle in a lantern on a windy day
now i go out with a laugh, and we could hang all day
no fists are banging on the doors, telling me to run away
always a work in progress, sometimes i'm lost in the process
you're always walking me back home
so blow me out, cause i'm done burning
i'll become one with the wind
smoke will dissipate and tears evaporate
everything will perfectly unfold
|
||||
2. |
|
|||
|
i could tell you that i'm sorry, but it's all i ever say
and i could tell you that i'm okay, i've been doing it all day
i'm running out of words, or running out of patience
i'm wishing i'd forget all of the times i hesitated
i've come out of the closet at least 10 separate times
and everyday theres something new i realize about myself
and thats okay, i'd rather be myself than be any other way
and i'm trying harder than ever to do what i want when i can
and i'm being a lot more honest with my friends
i'm done pretending, i'm done forgetting
everything that's happened matters
i'm taking matters into my own hands
i'll tell you how i feel and i'll mean it,
i'll cry in the target parking lot
i'll tell you i love you, i'll say it real loud
so everyone around us knows
i'll tell you how i feel and i'll mean it
|
||||
3. |
|
|||
|
canvassed the town from sidewalks to alley to underpass
i saw you frowning, indifferent to what i was doing
but you came around when i came around again
you needed a friend and so i became that
who am i without you?
who are you without me?
who are we without them?
what is this life without everybody?
feet tired of walking, you gave me a seat while you eat on the stairs
told me of your life, you made me feel so sweet and ripe
young lady near us was just a bud with brand new babies
a mother she was, and i felt so old and so young and so full of love
who am i without you?
who are you without me?
who are we without them?
what is this life without everybody?
you poke and you prod, you get under my skin like no one else
and when we get talking, i wonder if you know how it sounds to me
you give me a look into your mind
and i'm so happy you are alive
your perspective shows me something else
who am i without you?
who are you without me?
who are we without them?
what is this life without everybody?
|
||||
4. |
|
|||
|
do you ever sit and listen to your self breathe?
look down at your chest and see your heart beat?
everything as we know it, could not be, without you
have you given yourself a chance to have release?
all tied up in your guts and in your chest,
it writhes and cries it wants to leave, to set you free
did you know that you are loved when you are mad?
a tantrum shows nothing of your vastness
so scream and cry into the void,
and into my shoulder
i love you and everything you are, every conflict, every scar
anything can be creative if you let it flow within you, and then without you
within you, without you
|
||||
5. |
|
|||
|
embellishing words i say, i'm talking to you about how i feel and trying to play it cool
embellishments in the way, i tell ya my stomach aches from all the sugar coating i do
and i'm just now beginning to grasp, how i'm not responsible for that, for your reaction, or response
expressing myself standing on thin ice, when drowning meant not meeting my needs
now i'm on solid ground, sometimes i get trapped under ice, i remember what its like to freeze
and i'm just now beginning to grasp, how i'm not responsible for that, for your reaction, or response
sunlight on frosted grass is truly something to behold
a billion tiny exhales look like glass or crystal globes
out here in the cold, i can see my breath and i can see yours too
i can't control your reaction to my feelings, wouldn't get satisfaction even if i could
and i'm just now beginning to grasp, how i'm not responsible for that, for your reaction, or response
|
||||
6. |
|
|||
|
oh ceramic cup, you are a thing of beauty
what i would do to see the hands that formed you once more
oh ceramic cup, never too hot to the touch
i welcome pain and pleasure on my palms and my tongue
oh ceramic cup, if only i could ask you
how did it feel when she brought you to life from just a ball of clay
oh ceramic cup, to clean you is never a burden
so please tell me if you're hurting and i'll be there
oh ceramic cup, decorative with baltic symbols,
of places i can't think of without seeing her in my mind
oh ceramic cup, enchanted forest green tea
with coconut oat milk cream, you bring so much joy to me
oh ceramic cup, i hold you close in my hands
thru time, we touch and we dance, i miss you
|
||||
7. |
|
|||
|
cried all night, just couldn't get it right
even though there was nothing to get
proving myself to invisible men
with knives for tongues, i'm in their debt
early one morning, woke up before the birds
i stood in the shadow of death
i'm letting go, for god's sake
of "i'm sorry, so sorry for being a bit crazy"
if you're looking for something outside of yourself
to tell you worth it you'll find frustration
as nothing outside of yourself can tell your worth it
you're alive, and your existence speaks for itself
she flipped her hair, i pretended not to care
as her magic got caught in the breeze
cursed with green eyes, i pouted around
wondering if i was even half as sweet
sat in silence, observed the sensations
building up in this body of mine
i've got that same sweetness, lovely uniqueness
i see it in her, in her soft alert eyes
so i'll relish in her sweetness and be at ease
take it easy when you start to tease
finding worth in just being me
being free
|
||||
8. |
|
|||
|
it's impossible to be alone
it's impossible to be alone
there's always someone tryin to walk you home
so go on and keep trying, there's nothing wrong with crying
it's impossible to be alone
it's impossible to be alone
there's always someone tryin to walk you home
so go on and keep trying, it seems that you like it
it's impossible to be alone
it's impossible to be alone
there's always someone tryin to walk you home
so go on and keep tryin, we'll catch you if you fall
|
||||
9. |
dreadrick - Red
05:32
|
|
||
10. |
|
|||
11. |
|
|||
12. |
dreadrick - 12:34pm
08:16
|
|
||
13. |
|
|||
14. |
|
|||
15. |
dreadrick - doctor!
01:18
|
|
||
16. |
dreadrick - killbill
01:03
|
|
||
Bug Bug Publishing Pennsylvania
Bug Bug Publishing is a diy media publisher ran by Rayne L Blakeman, a compulsive creator living in Pittsburgh/Appalachia.
bugbugpublishing@gmail.com
If you like The Spirit of Youth, you may also like:
feather river canyon blues
by pigeon pit
supported by 4 fans who also own “The Spirit of Youth”
“it feels like survival just isn’t enough, is it?” i love this whole album so much <3
go to album
Scottish singer-songwriter shares poignant lessons on time and relationships against a sweeping folk backdrop studded with field recordings.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 17, 2023
go to album
Live at Le Trabendo
by Merryn Jeann
This four-track live EP from singer Merryn Jeann has a sense of otherworldliness in its mystic, magical compositions.
go to album
“Portraits” is a collection of expertly drawn narrative songs with sharply observed lyrics and rustic instrumentation.
go to album
An album of classic-sounding guitar pop sure to appeal to fans of Cut Worms, with lyrics about life’s dark places.
go to album
Forever is a Long Time
by Ian Coss
These sweet, sad indie pop tunes accompany Ian Coss's podcast of the same name, in which he interviews his family about their divorces.
go to album
